Excuses Excuses

    "Organized chaos" is what I often refer to as my life and home when asked how I do it on my own  with three children, a full time job, and a home to manage.  This is the little white lie I tell others and myself so that I don't go completely over the edge or embarrass myself.  We laugh, I get the "back or arm rub" (AKA poor single mom Lindsay rub) to indicate their pity for me, and I am given the obligatory statement, which in a nutshell tells me how great I am doing.  While I may seem to have a pretty good handle on things on the surface, the truth is, time management and prioritizing  are always will be one of my greatest weaknesses. Early on in my separation I had a crash course on self-sufficiency.  Guess I missed the lesson on time management and prioritizing with three children and a full time job.
     Just do it, right?  Get organized, prioritize, establish time limits.  Easy as 1, 2, 3. Not for me when I have other responsibilities (you know, two toddlers and a preschooler).Caring for children is a legitimate reason for disorganization. Now for the real excuses... the appeal of the internet (e-mails, Facebook, blogging), the book I am currently reading, reality television, and that much needed glass of wine that all beckon for me and vie for my attention before the kids' heads even hit the pillow.  By the time I get home at night I am exhausted so the thoughts of cleaning and organizing are simply horrifying.  I can barely manage to get dinner made, read to the kids, throw in that necessary load of laundry, pick out clothes for the next day, and bath the kids (whew-typing that made me tired) before collapsing into bed.
   I have prided myself on NOT using the "single parent card" to obtain attention or help from others. Privately  though, the single parent card is used as an excuse for why I am not organized.  This is what I tell myself as I wade through the toys on the living room floor, swear to myself as I rummage through the cabinets only to realize that every last sippy cup is in the dishwasher I haven't yet run, and stepped over the mountain of laundry into my bathroom only to find that I don't have any toilet paper left. Procrastination has always been my best quality in good times and bad.  Learning what can be lived with and what needs immediate attention is what I need to work on.
   Time never seems to be on my side. When I do have down time after the kids are in bed, I lose my self in a book or spend way too much time on the phone or facebook.  Those things I swore I would get done just never were accomplished because there always was tomorrow. Who wants to do housework?  Loading the dishwasher just does not trump the episode of Grey's Anatomy I have been waiting all week to watch.  The whole nasty cycle only begins again in the morning as I grumble and groan and beat myself up for the inability to prioritize what needed to be done yesterday!
    Someday I will find my happy medium.  For now, organized chaos it is. Spending time with my kids is much more important than scrubbing baseboards and having a showcase home.  Even though it kills me deep down, I can live with the clutter and mess for now.....